Not Congressional, and certainly not Presidential, either.

Is this the first in the new Deadspin series Whose Disgusting Congress Chin Is This? 

That part that baffled police investigators about the (unreleased for investigative purposes) Zodiac Killer letters where he went on and on about queso suddenly makes too much sense.

Right? Maybe they had an argument about Descartes and Aristotle?

The Chinese are killing us in the CFP rankings.

Bet the millenial snowflake players demanded water during 3-a-days too. This is why we’re losing to China. No one’s willing to play with a broken back anymore.

Not sure about Wilson, but in a lot of states, the state university football coach is the highest-paid public employee, by an order or magnitude or more. It’s always odd how they take no responsibility and accept no penalty, no matter what they’ve done to deserve it.

“Philosophical Differences” is now my favorite euphemism

“Call 1-800-SURPRISE-IT’S-ME-MOTHERFUCKER”

Can you imagine if it was this prick that got killed and McKnight was the shooter? McKnight would still be sitting in jail

I think a good hypothetical question is, “If the guy this killer shot happened to be an off-duty cop, would he have been released from jail?”

It’s the South and it’s a black man.

The law is arbitrary.

“How’s my driving? Call me and tell me so I can find you and punch you.”

So this guy definitely has connections with the local law enforcement, then, right?

Great example of the kind of isolation in which these rich fuck sports owners live. If you or I rocked that look, somebody would intervene and say, “You’re not going out into the world looking like that, no sir.” But. . .when the only people allowed in your life are sycophants and yes men, this is the result. I mean,…

I think at this point we’re waiting for Godot.

White flight, same reason the Lions went to Pontiac for 30 years

I have a hard time believing that guy didn’t want toupée.

I believe this man is wearing Chuck Klosterman’s scalp on his head.

How far do my eyes have to roll into the back of my head before it’s classified as a seizure