She is a true gem, and I wish I had .01% of her comedy abilities.

Thank you! Literally never ever recognize her in photos. She should have to wear a nametag.

I cried at my desk. I keep listing my pre-existing conditions in my head, and wondering if I know anyone who doesn’t have a pre-existing condition.

I lack the ability to be productive at work at this point. I want to put my fist through a wall.

I just cut off a foot and a half of hair and I am living the life. DO IT. YOU WILL BE GLAD.

Let’s do away with lab coats! They are disease transmission vectors. Scrubs for everyone!

Yes and it’s obnoxious.

This was truly the one that stuck in my brain. Kudos for odd insults?

Where I live (Utah) it’s absolutely the norm to find someone, get married, have kids. I get lots of questions and concerned looks and I am 26, not particularly old. I imagine it’s only going to get worse as I continue to be a husbandless, childless monster.

One of my favorite endings that lots of people apparently hated- the end of Borderlands. I thought it was precisely in tune with the entire existence you’d just spent a bunch of time in.

My elementary school chose “Beach Boys” for their annual music program when I was in the 4th or 5th grade, so, I’ve had “Kokomo” stuck in my head for most of my life.

Yeah, I meant to add that they were for men who couldn’t afford housekeepers and such. But my overall impression was that not every house had a handmaid, where all the rich houses would still have Marthas?

No, because the book talks about EconoWives at one point and how they’re expected to do all the jobs, so I think handmaids are for wives who are barren/too old to reproduce.

Am I wrong for wanting Dennis Quaid?

Ark, stupid, stupid Ark. I can’t help myself, it’s violent dinosaur Sims.

This is the kind of content I need today. And the kind of beverage I need today.

I buy that shit at the liquor store I rarely go to because it tastes like magic but I don’t want the snotty guy at my regular wine store judging me.

If he gave a single solitary shart about Syrian children, we’d have a very different executive order on immigration from the Middle East right now.

I just feel entirely unmotivated to do anything today, I can’t believe (oh... sure I can) this fucknut is going to seriously lead us into Mission Accomplished: Part Bigly. That and the new homepage image for the Bureau of Land Management have me wanting to go back to bed.

I feel like princesses is a weird ass hill to die on, too. Save that battle for vegetables, or dating boys with goatees.