I imagine you'll be able to smell the sulfuric aroma from miles around.

The only way these stamps could save the USPS would be if they were the cool-ass wizard moving pictures. Soooo.

Beat me to it. Sorry FIGJAM. Whooomp whoooooomp!

God I hope not. Mine have never been that long, when I actually do stumble upon a medium-okay person. I would die. That's all time I could be back at home watching Criminal Minds, thankyouverymuch.

Glorious. Something like this:

RIGHT. And don't forget this lil gem, which so daintily points out the "traditional" examples they cling so desperately to, because Bible Sez So.

What's next—will they take our Chili Cheese Fritos!?

I like this. This is cool.

Ah thanks, you summarized my long, winding point perfectly!!! My coffee has not kicked in yet. :)

Spot on, my friend. I will also add this: the cycle of abuse and neglect is a very vicious one and a very sad one, not to mention extremely hard to break. I work for a children's welfare agency, and I wish is was as easy as to just get these people to not have unwanted children. I imagine a lot of them wish the same.…

Nothing to add really, other than Conan O'Brien is the love of my life and I painted his portrait in high school and it is still hanging in my parents' kitchen.

I didn't even have the stomach to Google it. Ignorance is bliss.

Yep. It was especially brilliant as I am identifying pretty hard with Mr. Senior right now in the Early Christmas Overload Frustration Dept.

I feel like if I was Target PR I would be doing exactly what I am doing right now: fucking around pointlessly on the Internet to pass the time.

"A true embodiment of our ideals!"

"Walmart, I'm loving everything about you!"

And more consistently funny.