This was also a fantastic plot on the late-great Reno 911.

I just pissed myself at that exclusive still, Madeleine. NOT COOL.

I bought it straight out without even previewing it...and am loving it. Not to mention the video bonus...BOW DOWN.

Eh, I personally prefer everyone being bubbly and excited and positive about something than cynical and negative any day of the week. The world's a shitty enough place as it is, and people should be able to dance in their little bit of sunshine as they please without being told to chill the fuck out.

LIKE RIDICULOUSLY GOOD.

BEYONCE GIVETH.

Gimme doz.

But he was pretty upfront about pulling a lot of the additions to the movie from Tolkien's appendices. And even in LOTR, he didn't shy away from taking creative liberties and expanding on certain storylines.

Considering how addicted I was to Snood in college circa 2001, and how much of my life was wasted on that friggin game, you think I would have noticed the addiction signs right away in Candy Crush. But nope, more life down the drain.

But at least you get some destruction satisfaction when you blow up some chocolate. Jelly just fucking wobbles a little and then you still have to blow it up again. Fuck you, jelly.

Have you ever seen the movie Toys? Where they have those children playing games which are really military operations? My conspiracy theory is that Candy Crush is like that. I make a combo for a striped candy and a droid bombs a village somewhere.

At the high point of my obsession, I actually had dreams about making combinations. Dreams about crushing fucking candy. GOD DELIVER ME FROM THIS EVIL.

Don't you ever start. Stay here, stay here in that land of No Candy Crush as long as you can. For the love of god, cherish it! You have to cherish it.

Because of Candy Crush, I can no longer stomach jelly IRL. I see it and I get irrationally angry.

No Julie, no care.

Don't mind me, I'll just be here in my meeting doodling "Mrs. Andrew Garfield" with hearts and stars all over my notebook. Dream. Boat.

Of course!

I'LL READY MY PARASOL.

Bow down, bitchez.

<<<C9s 4 LYFE>>>