The Bell Jar is the reason I’m still terrified to sleep with guys who are good at math.

the menu is so large. SO LARGE.

I’m not sure what’s more pathetic: that Meghan Trainor likes the Cheesecake Factory, or that she’s so stupid to think that she wouldn’t be recognized at one. The Venn diagram of Meghan Trainor fans and people who like the Cheesecake Factory is a single circle.

I have to admit.. the amount of planning, filming, and time that went into the Taylor Swift take down is impressive.

You’re right, but the point is that TSwift and her people denied that the conversation even took place. Tay has been caught in a lie and her “poor me” narrative is starting to bite her in her perky 25-year old ass.

isn’t every night thing???

So it’s knockoff Monopoly tokens with holes dremeled through them and then stuck on unbent paper clips.

Lord, this is some nouveau riche bullshit. Regular people don’t need this and won’t buy something that’s just going to jam up the washing machine when you forget it’s on the towel.

Can I go to pebble beach alone and still have a great time that is worth the experience, an experience that I can only reminisce about with myself in the future?

Why do we do this to ourselves??? I’m having a severe allergic reaction... to myself

when i was 15 i called a boy “magnetic” in an email and the memory of it still makes me want to barf

It’s viscerally embarrassing to read. I suddenly feel ashamed of all the obviously, transparently performative emails I’ve written to smart boys in a desperate bid to get laid.

She retweeted this:

“One woman asks how to handle dating a guy with a small penis. Amber tells her to leave him.”

fwiw I’m not so much “pro-Mayo” as I am anti-Miracle Whip

MIRACLE WHIP IS GARBAGE, BOBBY