also, the more she talks about her hair, the less convinced i am that she’s becky. my money is on rita ora.

Why would anyone be pissed off Beyonce had the opening performance at an award show? Were they hoping Katie Perry would be the opening act at the BET awards?

As someone who has had personal interactions with this humanoid and knows people who have suffered through working with her as well, that title is super accurate.

I’m here for the Saved! gif party...

I love this movie and Moore was perfection in it.

Because what, addicts are bad people? Pretty shaming of you.

I’ve decided not to eat because I have to call to order food in a place where online ordering wasn’t available. That’s pretty lazy.

That is what Amazon Prime Now is for

olivia i just ordered spicy cheetos from amazon to my home

Lol, no, this woman is full of shit. There's no way in hell this actually happened.

Jezebel: I want to believe

My kid just discovered Sofia the First. I want to gouge my ear drums.

Did you see the Madonna/whore sketch? I had to watch it several times, then tell my gf to watch it, because it was so accurate.

12 Angry Men really was some award winning stuff, but Last Fuckable Day will go down as my favorite of all time. I remember showing that sketch to my mother, who had never heard of Amy Schumer before, and it immediately turning her into a fan of the show.

You saying it’s not Toxic Masculinity?

From the great Lindy West:

woah woah woah QAF gifs LOOOOOOOOVE ITTTTTTTT

There once was a girl from Nantucket
with talent as deep as a bucket.
She tried to “sound black”
and wrote songs like a hack
so they gave her a Grammy when they should have said “Fuck it.”

What’s so special with this Corden guy? Every time I try to lure celebrities into my car I get a restraining order from the police the next day.

Oh, do they let teens adopt children?