My mom had a hysterectomy in her late 40’s but I was long gone by then. Didn’t have to deal with that, luckily.

Ursula does not approve.

Dang, Selena. That outfit is really doing it for me. Call me, gurl.

I generally don’t have to take a dump after a night of heavy drinking, but I definitely have to fart. A lot. I’m leaving dude. I’m so happy to be in a ltr because now I get to fart and shit all I want, whenever I want.

My mother was an alcoholic (sober for 12 years) with a severe mental health problem. I was sick, I was 12, I spilled a tv dinner all over my comforter. She threw some of the food and me and screamed, “No wonder your father hates you.”

Damn you this is perfect.

I know! He’s even cutier patootier than Mz. Watts

Talking about distress: I had a dream that Justin and I were trying to meet up for a date but we couldn’t find each other.

I don’t know if I’m just hormonal today or what but this fucking guy just made me so angry that I’m crying a little. Goddammit.

1. Kris Jenner is friends with, what seems to be, quite a few far younger lady celebrities. So maybe...*gulp*... maybe she’s not that bad?

This story really infuriates me. I guess Jenny manages to not know a single person with HIV because she doesn’t actually have any friends.

#NotAllToilets

I have a squatty potty. Love it! My partner and I got the 7” model and I’m 5’10”, he is 6’3”, and our toilet is on the taller side. We feel like we should have got the 9” model if this helps you. But we still love it. If you’re a woman it’s also really helpful when changing out tampons or menstrual cups. Gives you a…

I love this gif and I love your username.

I am usually on #teamNoKardashian but I’m feeling some real love for Khloe right now.

Ra-ra-ra-ra! Dick, dick, dicks!

Bunnies in love.