One year when I was a young kid my dad, being an early riser, came pounding on our bedroom door saying we were going to be late for the bus. We all freaked out and ran downstairs. It was Saturday, April 1, and he had made pancakes. How is this hard, internet dipshits?

This is peak jezebel. It’s totally not possible for u to just write that she is getting equal pay u have to shit on it. It’s true Michelle getting equal pay doesn’t do shit for the ave woman, but we should still cheer that she is getting equal pay.

you have to remember that trump’s father was born in a very different time and in a very different geopolitical climate. the germany we know today is not what existed back then, as it was split into separate parts: there was an east germany, a west germany and a very very west germany, located in the bronx.

Yeah, it’s easy to rail against Uber when you live in a city with an extensive (albeit decaying) subway system. The public transit options where I live (northern NM) are pretty weak. We have a solitary low-speed diesel heavy rail commuter line, which only does 7 full-service runs between Albuquerque and Santa Fe a day…

Press Presses Press Sec Into PR Disaster Re: PR Disaster

I’m no fan of Pelosi, but could we please stop it with this conspiracist nonsense? Centrist neolibs love to see this kind of paranoid thinking on the left because it lets them present their naive and idealistic worldview as serious by comparison.  

“Clinton’s political operatives conspired against Sanders”

You know, it’s possible to acknowledge that a thing may not be right for everyone, but isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. I feel like weddings and associated topics get shit on like this on Jez a LOT, and it bugs me. No one should feel obligated to buy a ring, and no one’s relationship is invalid without one, but my…

Splinter is starting to read like the diary of an angry ex-girlfriend. 

February 19, 2019: Bernie’s fundraising totals come in.

Did you see that bird on the podium with Bernie!? Beto never had a bird land on a podium case closed!

Can Splinter cut it out with the lame hit pieces please?

There is no way you can model a presidential campaign off of DIY.

Khloe: So you’re telling me, I can’t count on a man who abandoned his pregnant fiance and only sees his son on Christmas to be a doting father to my child? That’s what you’re telling me?

Hey Lauren, I just want to chime in along with everyone else and let you know this is a really shitty post. Like, colossally shitty. I don’t even have any snark for you. Clinton won the popular vote, she was profoundly qualified, and she got shat on for being a woman who knows how to get shit done in a world dominated…

I was inspired by her campaign as were many she won the goddamn popular vote. She shouldn't run again because it will just be a repeat and she has sense. No need to shit on her work. 

She sure does. She never said she was going to run and now that she’s finally official said “I’m not running” they’re still giving her shit about it. But also salivating over Bernie. SMH

Hillary has the sense not to run again.

That tweet left out the best part of the photo—Antoni from Queer Eye:

Kate, evidently, has learned nothing from Ariana Grande: