The carpet should match the coach:

Exactly. I’m not worried, though. I’m certain that Ashley Feinberg will clear this up for us in a follow up post. She really is great here at Deadspin.

“Look. You just don’t bet against a team with Joe Montana at QB. You just don’t.”

“Ten billion dollars”

WHY DID YOU AVOID SAYING “BAD OMBRE”

The elevator photo from his Inaugural Ball is my favorite 

It’s good advice and I’ll definitely take that into consider-

I love how this fan keeps saying We as if he’s/she’s part of the 53 man roster. Better be careful or Daniel Synder might just sign you once 5 more guys get carted off this weekend.

I really don’t understand why fans and the media are so negative about this team. Sure, it’s a bit of a rough patch but it’s a good collection of talent and smart coaches who just need to get things pointed in the right direction.

Dan Snyder really needs to have Zach Brown banned. 

Jezebel’s Politics is flatlining. I have no idea why the invasive technology this site uses to sell me shit is more morally self-aware than Taylor Swift’s attempt to try and save her own fucking life.

Every Celtics fan’s dream: an all-black team that are actually really white guys.

Obviously, the racist costume in the top picture is going to get all the attention. But still, Dave Portnoy does deserve some credit for somehow showing up to a Halloween party as both Craig Sager and Ted Cruz.

“They had to completely retool the offense in order to adapt to Jackson’s skill set,”

I don’t know if Schumer and Pelosi were specifically coached to perform this way

Wonder if over on Splinter they’ll have another article calling Chuck and Nancy a couple of spineless sellouts for laying an offer on the table.

Never met a Jesse Palmer stan before, this is weird.

I assume Nicki used #ArnoldPalmer because this story is only half tea.

Uh huh.

To be fair, after his staff told him that Kenneth Parcell wasn’t available, he had to do something: