They’re America’s team more than ever, a disappointing franchise run by an aging dipshit and employing a lot of crooks.

Only Ray Lewis can incorrectly take both sides of an issue. It’s like he stabbed both sides, obstructed us from the heart of the matter and then ratted out the debaters.

Dallas Cowboys hold team prayer that there won’t be domestic violence charges against any players this week.

Fuck off McAdoo. Definite bullshit to put this on Manning. The receivers were dropping balls, the o-line was offering little to no protection, and the rushing game was shit. That’s an awful combination for any quarterback to overcome.

carrying signs that describe the FBI as [...] Nickelback fans,

Not a single thing excessive about this. If your team can’t behave in a civilized manner then you don’t get to complain when you are treated like a mob. Good for the 1 or 2 cops controlling the 30-40 people here.

Because Michael Bennett “fitting a description” of a potential assailant (that doesn’t exist) because he’s black is like saying Donald Trump fits the description of a good and just leader because he’s president.

It’s tricky to claim he fit the description of the shooter if there was no shooter.

Clearly they just want to defend American ideals by insisting anyone who disagrees with the state’s abuse of power be fired from their job. Just like Washington envisioned.

Yeah, please fuck off forever. I’ve lived through catastrophic natural disasters. People need to eat and drink clean water. Christ, go jerk yourself off with Atlas Shrugged again, you wretched piece of shit.

Go directly to hell, you absolute nightmare of a person.

There should be statues of him everywhere, with the plaque on it saying “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.”

I want a statue of Marshawn Lynch in Oakland and Seattle. Tomorrow.

Get up on a Saturday morning, take a leak, go for a run, shower up, cook up some eggs, get my hate on for Jerry Jones. I’m glad Deadspin is looking out for my needs.

I can’t wait til Kaep caves, goes out and punches a woman and murders a few dogs and immediately gets offers from multiple NFL teams.

It doesn’t matter how much you hate the Cowboys, YOU JUST DON’T FUCK WITH A MAN’S DOG.

I’ve decided to take my talents to the McDonald family down the block.  

“I WILL TURN THIS YACHT AROUND!”

Hang on, rushing out to get a dozen million burner accounts so I can spend the rest of my life starring this comment.