This particular bit may have fallen flat, but public speaking can be crippling and some people need a crutch to help them rise to the occasion.

When my brother died, the woman he was living with gave his dog away the next day. We contacted the new 'owners' and they also refused to return him to us, saying their kids were too 'attached.' Attached after a few days?? This was my brothers best friend for years, our last living link to him. Not only did they…

So let me just say this before I explode. My husband didn't ask to go to war for those pricks that we call a government. He didn't twiddle his thumbs while he was deployed. He helped give villages electricity and wells because it was the right thing to do and got shot at because he's American. He tried to save a…

They are indeed.

What's particularly off-putting is that the family who insists on keeping the dog is (according to the news report) a military family. You'd expect them to respect a soldier's property.

That family is a bunch of shitheads.

Also it would be a good lesson to the children to return something to it's rightful owner if it was wrongfully taken from him/her/them

Awwh. One waitress will never forget about Dre.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. He's from Massachusetts!?!?!?!?

no.

Turtles.

and that's kilometers.....

After hitting an Elk crushed his Saab, one Canadian was faced with a choice — take a hopelessly long Greyhound bus ride home, or buy a $500 Audi and drive there. He made the right decision.

"The well-being of their crotch fruit"?

Yup. Girardi: "Maybe go higher next time or go to the corner and eat it."

I just laughed so loud at my desk that I then had to slide down my chair and under it George Costanza style.

I imagine endless supplies of dexedrine, vicodin, and xanax. I also imagine that i could ever write a decent deadspin post sober. Also I think unicorns would be pretty cool. To eat.