Team Jive is chock full of players.

I was really hoping you were talking about skin tags because I’m... kind of ashamed of mine.

Say hi to her for me.

“I feel like I’m drinking a leather couch cushion.”

- College-aged Randy BoBandy

It’s better than hot dogs, I guess.

They couldn’t green screen in a surrogate?

Eat your salad from a big bowl.

Drink directly from the bottle.

Shovel that macaroni and cheese in your face directly from the pot.

Smoke a cigarette on the toilet, it’s fuckin’ great.

Live your best life.

This gave me joy and diarrhea at the same time.  

I’m assuming the fruits of his father’s labors usually start off as a Big Mac and end up in a toilet?

+1 Tossed Implant and Brass Eggs

...You don’t go for the nut buster parfait?

I’ve never been more attracted to a gif...

+1 “Pussy willows, Dottie.”

No joke, saw her on TV last night, and the first thing in my mind was (without knowing what the show was) was “I’d totally have sex with that clown lady.”

Counterpoint:

It’s not normal to hear a ringing in your ears and a nosebleed just by reading something, is it?

+1 You’ve found yourself in a small, quiet town in Northern Michigan, but, it’s not the Northern Michigan that most folks from metro Detroit would tell you about. No grand vistas of Lake Michigan, no ice cream stores or fudge shops... no, you’re in true Northern Michigan. Small towns, where the pickup trucks flying…

Usually if I don’t wash my jizz towel after a week.

So is “Dragon Energy” this year’s “Tiger’s Blood?”

+1 Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt

That didn’t come out on LazerDisc?