I care.

Who’s ass is that??? I’m confused by the bodily positioning here. I want to say it’s hers....but...it doesn’t seem like a person could bend their back that way?

Thank you for consistently being one of my favorite writers, Mark. Can’t wait to see what you do at Uproxx!

This is a sad, sad day. You were a treasure and will be missed!

Yes. When someone is so beautiful it becomes pointless. Like what could I possibly do with this? Same feeling I get when a desert is too cute/pretty. Can't eat it. Maybe that isn't the same thing. I'm stoned

Not for this year, but a previous year I tried to get all of the professions in World of Warcraft, in real-life. I didn’t get around to all of them, but I did some jewelcrafting (glass working), leatherworking, sewing, cooking, enchanting (electronics class), alchemy (making cordials). My planned herbology hike from…

“I don’t advocate that these uncivilized women who removed their brassieres should be beaten with toxic stingray tails, but those who organised such an event should be.”

I actually *asked* Santa for coal one year. For my rock collection.

I got it too, nice good samples. And now I’m a geologist/hydrologist.

with a name like arbour she should make a like a tree and get out of here

This strategy hasn't panned out for me yet, not for lack of trying.

She’s an asshole.

that’s an insane story. i wish her the best!

You're a BOSS friend. Especially for keeping mum.

Heated marble floors. I wants them.

I have a friend (really) who did 90 days in a Federal camp last year. She told her boyfriend that she was coming out on a Wednesday. She had me pick her up on Tuesday, take her to get her hair colored, eyebrows waxed, a facial and Botox. We stayed in a hotel near the camp that night. The next day she changed back into…

One of my dogs took a dump in my harp case. This is grosser than that.

gay ones, too. Hopefully.

I can’t wait until every one of their daughters grow up and turn into Commie Liberal Pinkos to get back at them.

oh my god. This thread came from the heavens. When I was 14, a 28 year old man “fell in love with me.” I was leaning on him as an older person available to explain things to me at a time when I had a lot of questions. There was a lot of talk like, in Africa I would offer 4 goats for you etc. It was a love affair in a…