“Remember the Titans?”

Talk about it talk about it talk about it...

YOU WERENT THERE MAN, YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND!

This lovely man came in every day, I burned his bread, and he left a $5.00 tip on a $4.00 meal. One time, he heard me (quietly, I swear) talking to another waitress about how I couldn’t afford to have my other cat spayed yet, and when he left, I found $100.00 under the cup for my cat.

Maybe you just need to trust the experts here. Nobody develops young quarterbacks like the Cleveland Browns. And nobody has more experience.

“Dammit! Count it! C’mon, man! I fucking need this!"—Tim Donaghy

Get some video of that. Because in 8 years she will turn onto a teenage monster and you will appreciate some blackmail material to keep her in line. “No, you do NOT talk to your mother that way. Do it one more time and maybe your friends on the cheer squad see this.”

She doesn’t want you to do the dishes, skywalkr. She wants you to WANT to do the dishes.

He’s partying like it's 1979.

*shirt not typical

Bizarre? Huge? Practically nothing in it? Maybe you just don’t understand Canada in general.

She refrigerates your nuts?

A little OT, but germane to “fish that swim” and “tales of stupid swimmers”: At the beach one afternoon, my dad once approached the lifeguard and asked him if the fin he saw in the water was a shark.