The Million Spicoli March

After the second first pitch home run, any pitcher worth his salt would have drilled that kid in the ass.

In response, Redskins management sent her disease infected blankets.

Chris Berman went to high school with Woody Allen? Damn.

Two minutes later, Timothy ran the board on "Nail Polish Colors".

While somewhere. Emmett Till sadly smiles.

This makes me desperately miss The SportsWriters on TV.

No biggie. But misspell "bratwurst" and Milwaukee would be ablaze.

Every baby is Dwight Eisenhower. Every fucking one of them.

JurorBWhatever makes the dumbest beauty pageant contestant ever sound like Madame Curie.

Fox News. Proud To Know Nothing About The Great Yellow Horde.

Yesterday we showed the wrong picture of a horse that was accused of landing at Normandy under the influence of a methamphetamine while being sought on charges of manslaugher and second degree murder, and being too skinny. The horse pictured in that story was the wrong horse. We regret the error.

I prefer to have mine blow dried.

Balls have survived in their current location because, though sensitive, they are also malleable. Like boobs.

And, while drawing his final breath, the Philly fan quietly gasped, "Boo ".

Go ahead. Laugh. But we take processed meats very seriously in Wisconsin.

Leave it to Rex to oggle the bull's hooves.

High Life should be ranked Higher for the simple reason that it had Errol Morris (Fog of Beer) direct its spots for almost a decade. Come on people. Show some artistic fuckin' respect.

The Million Drunken White Men March.

The Million Drunken White Men March.