To be fair, if anyone knows what it's like to have a full stomach and an empty soul, it's Paul Ryan.

There has to be a less assholey way to communicate that information.

So, 75% of the country?

Something tells me that if we took all the money used for food stamps and gave it directly to large grocery store chains, rather than to poor people who will use the money to shop at grocery stores, the GOP would be fine with the expenditure.

I am not OK with Zendaya Whatever getting the single-name treatment on this poster.

Sounds like both of you did see it.

This is America, bro. Nobody does anything simply out of love. They do it for money.

Something Affleck couldn't even do!

You can always take comfort in the grim specter of death that will consume us all, eventually, regardless of what we do.

Don't rape anyone!

I don't care for watermelon.

It's ridiculous that they've been trying to develop an Uncharted movie for 15 years, when The Rundown was sitting right there the whole time.

No they weren't.

ROCKET FUEL, PREMIUM MALT LIQUOR!

A History of Douchiness

More black men, something, something, Lisa Lampanelli.

February is the Fuckin' Month

You know nothing, Obi-Wan.

Why not wish death on him?

Someone, like a noble herky-jerky dancer? And then Melania maybe falls in love with her valiant rescuer? And then maybe that certain, heroic, herky-jerky dancer takes his reward?