Visit 1 - What area has a Chipotle and doesn’t have other options? And while you’re standing in line coddling your shitkids for 20+ minutes you would have noticed no one leaving with burritos.

I wouldn’t be grabbing for any moral high ground just yet if I were you, because large swaths of people sure seem to be tolerant enough with racism, bigotry and sexism in their candidate as long as it got him into office.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Maybe if we remind conservatives that the modern computer was invented largely by a gay man, lots of them will boycott the internet?

I offered up the Titans elsewhere, but Texans isn’t a bad choice. I also see the 2017 Jaguars as some sort of aberration. Let’s just agree that the AFC South is the most irrelevant division.

Funbag guests posts, ranked.

The worst minor annoyance is someone talking on a cell phone in the bathroom. And let me tell you, bud, if you’re going to do that, I’m ABSOLUTELY using the loud hand dryer.

The Root: “The Beckys can’t get any Beckier.”

But it’s a twofer. Creepy and misogynistic at the same time.

If you’re allergic to coffee, the fuck are you doing in a coffeehouse?  

Devastating news for the ONE PERCENT of the population that actually suffers from Celiac disease.

It’s funny you mention little league...I have permanent damage in my shoulder from a coach in 8th grade telling me that ‘only pussies quit’ after I felt something pop while pitching. I ‘toughed it out’, adding substantially to the damage. I still have serious pain and weakness from the injury and it’s been about 25…

“We will stop this tournament right now! We are adults, and this is ridiculous. It is a cornhole tournament fundraiser.”

Recall how Peyton Manning used to yell “Oklahoma!” and all that shit before he snapped the ball.

I’m pretty sure they make more than $130K.

Really - reading the list of major investors provides great schadenfreude.

I take back everything bad I ever said about Elizabeth Homes.

Can anyone read those tweets and honestly say, “yeah, Trump wrote that, sure, it sounds just like him”?!?!

Nothing says “alpha male” like layered t shirts.