Once again, we must turn to the sage words of Elaine Benes.

Are we talking legally or illegally? Because I’m sure the Clippers could have tried to break KD’s leg. But that may or may not have worked, because KD probably would have just gone Greg Jennings on the Clippers.

I am 300% certain that Tony was named Tyrone in the first draft.

“Scott, you are a good person, and you would make a wonderful father,” and “You will feel so blessed one day.”

I’m sorry the person you were when you were younger embarrasses you so much now, but that does not make this album bad, it makes your perspective shallow.

Girl. No. This is a bad take and you should feel bad about it.

I got kinja’d.  Sorry friends.

I was already 20 when Ichiro joined MLB and I think I’d thought I was years past the part of my life where a professional athlete could ever be the kind of immortal, larger-than-life figure that, say, Michael Jordan or Lawrence Taylor or Martina Navratilova had seemed to be when I was a kid. But Ichiro was—and in lots…

Griffey in the dugout to greet Ichiro made me nostalgic for all of the Mariners teams of my youth that always found a way to came up just short.

You and me and the hem of Larry Bird kiddo. With my original username, Bernanko pulled me out on a guest stint, but now I’m in purgatory because I got unexplained shadowbanned on one platform but not the others. TheTakeout immediately brought me back, but I don’t know. It’s too much work to toggle between accounts.…

If this works for you, put in a good word for me on the outside!

The .gif that keeps on .gif’ing!

First, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Kate, evidently, has learned nothing from Ariana Grande:

Oh, god, I hooked up with a guy once who kissed like that, and I am horrified to learn it looks just as bad from the outside as it is to experience. A big mouth, opened wide, leading with the tongue - all you get is teeth and tongue and saliva. It’s like making out with a horse. Quite possibly the least sexy thing on…

Kate no, you can do better.

Wow, James Harden can never shave his beard again!!

Are you high?

Philip Plein’s clothes look like Hot Topic For Soccer Moms® so I don’t feel bad about this at all.