This is my dream. Screw world peace, if I get a genie, I’m wishing for a domesticated penguin friend.

huh, I didn’t know either of those things.

I thought he was impeached though

I have a political question I’ve been wondering about. Can a presidential candidate select a different party’s presidential candidate to be his or her running mate?

My roommate is a manager at that Sephora! It really is beautiful

Yeah, wow. Good on you for holding firm, and I’d think that woman’s daughter was better off at the friends house, if the mother couldn’t be bothered to get her phone number before dropping her off there, even if this was a true story.

Yeah, that aspect has been blowing my mind. I’ve worked retail in 4 different places, and all of them had policies on not giving out employee schedules, because of privacy reasons, and potential stalkers/malicious exes/etc. And that’s waaaay lower stakes than knowing someone’s hotel room

I got this for my step-dad for christmas this year, and he really likes it.

well, one of their kids is dead, I’m not sure how much more negative their experiences with the medical system could have been.

I was really waiting for you to say this all happened in a nightmare. Oh man, I’m so so sorry that was real.

Dude knows this was just a movie, right?

uncle fucker is, I think, Lion King, since it’s based on Hamlet, which has unclefucking, and Simba did run away from Nala.

I genuinely wasn’t sure if this was photoshopped or not for a minute

aw, it’s a shitty situation, but that is really sweet, both of him, and the teacher

oh my god, I thought the same thing until I read your comment and scrolled back up. That is bizarre

ah. Either way, I’m glad the end is in sight.

I know Alton Brown HATES unitaskers in the kitchen, but some of them make life so so much easier. I make pie often enough that the miniscule amount of space this takes up, and then 7 dollars I spent on it are totally worth it to me.

oh balls. Why are there 84 more days of Kristen after the book comes out? I thought it was meant to coincide with the release of the book.

I don’t typically wait, but it sounds like you maybe need to add a teeeeeeny bit more water. A little goes a loooong way. The freezer is a good idea for the butter, I normally cut it in cubes, and stick it in the freezer for about an hour before starting.

is it really only 12 more days? I’m just so happy to never see a 500 days of Kristin article ever again.