The Titanic joke he got out of it was pretty stellar.

The entire game will be ruined by the New York Yankees.

He still has a top rated show...yeap...lol

Everyone get over it, or you’ll get angry?

You crazy kids these days know NOTHING about short shorts. Back in my day when you wore shorts you had to worry about your nut sac peeking out if the weather was too hot and humid. And spandex? Get out of here with that. You had two choices, tighty whiteys or you could grab a jock from the pile of them we communally…

Stand to wipe in my home bathroom. Stay seated in public stalls.

Eh, I don’t think it was a bad year at the plate for him, judging by his waist size.

Conan is really good at these. His Bowie tribute was also awesome.

That said, at least you didn’t say you’re one of those assholes who brakes before signaling. Those people. Oh man. Those people...

The NCAA discouraging betting on brackets is right up there with Q-Tips putting a warning on their box telling people not to insert them into the ear. Really? If anyone actually followed that edict, Q-Tips would be out of business by next Wednesday.

HEY WHAT’D I TELL YOU ABOUT GIVING OUT MY ADDRESS ON THE INTERNET?!

I barely get to the movies as is. The fact that they’re expensive, and require a babysitter, and have 20 pre-show ads that elicit audible sighs from the audience

Boston TE Party