34HP. Wow. My Piaggio BV350 scooter makes 33-ish HP out of a single 330cc cylinder, 4-stroke engine. It’ll do 86MPH tops all day long but, unlike the Mini Estate, is miserable to ride when it’s raining, really cold, or worst of all, really cold and raining.

Not really since his name and likely the man himself isn’t Japanese.

This is frighteningly accurate.

Shyamalan Plot-Twist: He asked for extra peanuts when they handed them out so he has two more bags of peanuts squirreled away for later use.

I saw a 2015-ish Nissan Sentra smashed up on the side of a road after an accident clean-up. I was driving the same model car so I got to see how the crumple zones and what-not did their jobs. The front-end was pretty wrecked but the cabin was still intact and the air bags deployed. Yep, the person totally survived. Car…

I’ll take the Versa with modern telematics and safety equipment because a 24 year old engine/transmission is so far past “last legs” it isn’t even funny.

Loud Booming Outside Voice: “Disgusting! They should be ashamed of themselves!”

OMG. The last car I would ever expect to see on Jalopnik...

OMG. I did not realize that line (“You’ll get nothing and like it!”) came from Caddyshack!

“Stoppie.” A “reverse-wheelie” is a “stoppie.”

Completely. Owned.

You can specify mild steels throughout, minimize strategic use of bracing structures, and reduce the number of welds to keep costs down to get this kind of crash performance.

By George, I think he’s got it!

By George, I think he’s got it!

Use this new 4TB as a back-up for the one you already have. If it’s worth saving, it’s worth having a copy (or two).

Use this new 4TB as a back-up for the one you already have. If it’s worth saving, it’s worth having a copy (or two).

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

Flat track bikes don’t need front brakes. Find some flat track footage on YouTube and you’ll see why.

but since he unclipped, he was unable to slow down and avoid skipping this ditch and slamming into the wall/tree trunk here.

Dumpsters have load restrictions depending on the expected contents. For typical home/business refuse you can fill them to the brim but if it’s construction refuse which may include metal, sand, and concrete, then you’re limited to some fraction of the height of the dumpster which is usually marked on the dumpster…

I don’t know about this. I didn’t think monocles are still in fashion. But I occasionally wear cargo pants so what do I know.

This.