As part of this glorious struggle, may we also declare war on "The Elf on the Shelf", that elaborate hoax perpetrated on children to destroy their trust in grown-ups and train them to tolerate totalitarian surveillance?

When I looked at the bill, she had left a ridiculously small tip of $66.66 (on a check around $190) with a little smiley face and note that said,"because 6 is my favorite number."

Meh, NASCAR fights are so boring. They only throw lefts.

A few thoughts:

I once ate 20 Charleston Chews to get an exclusive mail-away Wolverine comic. It was a very dark time in my life.

I think it's last in this case because Hershey's dark chocolate tastes like what I imagine the Dust Bowl did.

I, not being competent, would argue that the KitKat/Krackle/Nestle Crunch style of candy bars should move up the list, and that Hershey With Almonds should jump ahead of all other Hershey bars.

Didn't take long for the candy bar truthers to arrive

As a Jezzie: Nope, good article, well reasoned responses. Often we'll object to talk of being "friend-zoned" because it means that the girl in question is being "girlfriend-zoned," which generally indicates an attitude of entitlement etc.

BUT IT'S WRITTEN BY THE SPOOKY FEMINISTS

I like how 90% of the things anti-feminists bitch about are parody arguments made up by anti-feminists.

Stop whining about jezebel. Grow up, please.

#REKT

As an occasional Jezebel poster, my response is pretty simple. When he gets the LJBF speech, he should just say "Okay, I appreciate your honesty. I'm actually looking for something other than friends right now. But it was great getting to know you, and I wish you the best of luck." And then move on and meet someone…

If you go backwards in the history of Dr. Nerdlove, you'll find that he's completely against the idea of the Friend-zone, as much as anyone at Jezebel might be. I think he described it as treating women like a vending machine, where you put in your friendship tokens until sex falls out.

Thanks for the pageviews!

Folks are more likely to complain about what Jezebel is gonna do than Jezebel is to complain about an article.

" I did know that boy would try to steal a steak off the devil's plate."

And don't forget that we're not working hard enough to get Democrats in office, so every crazy-ass thing Republicans do is our fault. Democrats are not even fielding a candidate in my House district this year!