Dude, watching Mad Men doesn't give you a "heavy soul".

Totally happened to me, 11 or so years ago in Jr High/HS. Granted, it wasn't such a big thing in my school and I was trying to get people to organize as best I could without much faculty support on the matter (It has thankfully grown in my area since and after the first year or two, it was much easier/I had way more…

five second rule in effect...you can still eat it.

I agree. This doesn't look like a spring game. It looks like promo shots for a gay porn. I mean, whaddup! But still gay porn

Tell your daughter, "thank you" for me. I went to a really small Catholic high school where being out was not an option. Only two of us participated in Day of Silence, and one teacher in particular made it his mission to get me to talk every year by saying anything homophobic that came to mind (although the homophobia…

Maybe you could talk with and carry on a conversation or three?

After an 8 year marriage, and a lot of dating, I'm tired of giving a shit about a body. I want a big sexy brain inside the cranium of a woman who knows how to use it.

FUCK IT ALL

obviously. It's not going to blow itself, and I will be damned if microphones go unfellated on my watch.

This is a genuine comment on the E! Emma Stone article:

Oh, I am well aware of girl farts. Claire* had cystic fibrosis, and while everyone knows how that affects the lungs, few people know how it affects the bowels She could not eat anything without taking a handful of enzymes that she had to get juuuust right (and never did). When we moved in together, I gave her the…

He doesn't really believe this, FYI... this is just all part of a viral marketing campaign for my new gameshow, Win Ben Stein's Dignity

*still warm... =[

I had a huge fat baby who is now a super-skinny teenager. I like to joke she hasn't gained any weight since her first birthday, she just got taller.

Ha ha, my daughter was a skinny baby too. People used to comment on it to me and I really couldn't see it. But now I look at her baby pictures and see how skinny she was. Now I understand why I had people — strangers— ask me if she was well. Then I had my son. He had chubby wubby cheeks and a smoochy woochy belly. No…

Ya seriously, my skinny baby is now a skinny toddler and all other babies look like huge delicious butterballs to me. OM NOM.

I was thinking a Saturday, so you'd have Sunday to recover from the degradation.

I fucking love my Armenian man-nose. Loved it when I was a little girl, too.

It just goes to show how very sheltered this woman is, if the worst example of miscegenation she can think of is when two different kinds of White people hook up.

"Give us Chief Wahoo, take Chief Wahoo. It doesn't really matter...What matters is Kipnis, Brantley, and Gomes locked in on long-term deals."