Colorado can’t be in the AL. Too many old white dudes would have strokes because their heroes would become statistically irrelevant. 

Brown streaks down the sideline? We call that the Skyline. 

This is what you kids on the Internet call a Savage burn, right?

Improving your win percentage by infinity is not good enough! This is Cleveland!

And it’s working! You were so distracted that you didn’t even see that Walmart dropped the dash last February. Now they save your takes precious time with one less character in addition to the low, low prices.

Counterpoint. Fuck that rule. As long as it’s a hand or an officially licensed MLB glove, fans should be allowed to reach over to catch any ball. Otherwise what’s the point of homefield advantage? If it goes past the wall, home run. If it gets touched but falls back into the field, ground rule double. If a fan falls…

Who wants to pay for PSLs at temporary stadiums? Or, you know, at all? Make your numbers based on an actual thing instead of made up bullshit and they probably won’t have to be revised as frequently.

And if you are lucky enough to have a successful pregnancy, it’s shocking how quickly you realize just how many things are conspiring on a constant basis to kill us. It’s really amazing that any of us are alive at all.

I’d say we should put some pressure on the NFL to fix this, but we’d draw a flag.

You’d think, by the tenth straight curve, one of baseball’s great mashers would’ve been all over that sucker, but there you would be wrong. no way Jose.

Maybe it’s triple digit heat in LA, but that’s only 85 on the coast.

Edited because my post was dual eligible. 

Who gives a fuck if women are a “handicap”??? It’s fucking rec league!!! I pass to everyone and I am male. It’s a choice to not be a dick like the dudes you describe.  The problem is most people want to relive their glory years. Meanwhile my team is consistently in last place because we’re all there to have fun and…

Your reference is outdated. They dropped the dash in February to compete with Amazon.

I don’t really follow college bball, but isn’t the argument for reseeding in the tournament also creating an unfair advantage to the power conference teams? 

27,000 words? So just another Bill Simmons article without 80s movie references or Boston sports?

I can’t wait for you to have kids and have someone show this absurd list to you in the future. 30 minutes after sunset, then you got 30 minutes to make it rain. Then STFU!

+1 tin soldier

Pardon the Undisputed Hot First Take: This guy is now the red string on every talking head show’s murder board connecting Manziel and Mayfield. Content bonanza!