At least Goop makes stuff that gwyneth would actually wear. Would Reese Witherspoon be caught dead wearing a tote with “totes y’all” on it? Hell naw.

Totes! She's clearly just as bad as this human fart bag.

That first sentence is written so that it states she lost to the same person two years in a row.

I like that logo because on the one hand it could be for a small town nail salon and on the other it could be for my 13 year old self’s imaginary nail salon. So there's versatility baked in.

True story: I once had a creative director tell me he would like me to pee on him. We were talking about ideas for a client in the middle of the day in a closed conference room. It was mind boggling and he did not understand why I thought he was acting predatory.

Ugghhhh you are such a good writer and I'm sad to see you leave Jezebel... But! I read the New Yorker and will follow you just as happily over there. Good luck and read you soon.