Swans are just giant geese that have graduated from Fuck-You School, where they did their thesis on beating the shit out of humans.

I agree with your comment but let's take it one step further.— If someone is working, WORKING like honest people do, then why does it matter if they are middle school drop outs or have the highest degree of education? We should be content with the fact that they are gainfully employed, being responsible and hard…

MASTERPIECE

I think I am the only person who LIKES when they add in the gratuity automatically. Like, "YES, THANK YOU FOR NOT MAKING ME DO MATH."

If tomorrow all my things were gone

My cheesecake brings all the boys to the yard.

(To the tune of "Star Spangled Banner")

God Bless America! *salutes as jets fly over*

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know my cheddar biscuits will be free. And I won't forget the men who died, so I can bitch about automatic gratuity.

Me during the popcorn story

This gets at the heart of a major problem in US policing. Officers are taught that ANY form of noncompliance is resisting and a danger to them and the public at large. The idea is that they have to maintain control of the situation at all times or else they are in danger, so the instant someone doesn't do what they…

Haha this reminds me of that Dave Chapelle stand up. His comment about newsweek printing the police brutality stories. Starts around 8:35

I should have topped you more. :/

Once 15 minutes before close we got a call for about a 30 top coming in around 5 minutes. I told them that as long as they got here before our closing time we could take them, wrote down their info and went into the back. The kitchen was displeased but stopped closing their stations and started getting ready for the…

"A reuben on wheat which he ate with no complaints."

It's awesome to hear the positive side of things, that you really kept shit together when you had to professionally.

Oh, Ms.Andry, I feel your pain. I was married to a gaslighting, abusive arsehole for 5 years. He used to enjoy kicking me under tables, pinching me, and glaring at me for the slightest thing he thought was embarassing (which was a sure sign that there was a scary argument the moment we got in private) whilst we were…

One of my favorite cookbooks was part of my "welcome bag" when I first moved to my tiny town. It was the "Platte County Presbyterian Church 100th Anniversary Cookbook", I don't use it a lot, but I always turn to it if I want to cook basic comfort food. I really love the little recipe introductions like "This is Edna's…

New Kitchenette sub-thread: Can You Bacon That? Yes We Can!