They aren't trying to track peoples identities they are just trying to scare them away from these terrifyingly clean clinics with hideously well trained physicians and staff, to a more respectable locale like a dark alley. With better tools and hygiene, like rusty coat hangars. Because, you know, things were so much…

I'm working on a project at work. Of the people assigned to this project, I am the only hourly employee, and the lowest-paid (naturally). This afternoon, I was called into the guy running the project (in his defense, he probably didn't realize I was hourly). I get lectured about how I didn't respond to the emails he…

I am very thankful that my mother has worked retail for years, and was a hiring manager of a retail store when I started looking for my first job. She knew the law backwards and forwards and made damn sure I did too. Her knowledge was so valuable, and helped me avoid getting screwed over by a shady manager. Honestly,…

This is their franchise, I have to say. The JJ corporate structure is very sleek and super fucked up, from what my two years of experience with the company have taught me. Jimmy himself is a fuck and a half, but luckily he doesn't really have much to do with the franchises. The franchisee in this article is a greedy…

You say "eating and fucking" as if there's anything more to life.

Every time you mix Macallan, a Scotsman drops a caber.

My reaction would have ended up being over-the-top condescending. Starting with "oh, no, Sweetie" and ending with "now, remember: socks first, THEN shoes."

I'm weeping for those poor ruined steaks. I want to give them a nice home in my tummy. But only if they're medium-rare at most.

Ran this through Google Translate. Came back thusly: "I live in my mom's basement and haven't had pussy since pussy had me." Huh. Go figure.

Scott's a dick.

I was 21 and had suspected my then boyfriend was messing around with this chick anne. She'd been getting really annoying, crawling all over him that fall and wanting to have important, urgent, emotional talks at all times because my boyfriend was such a good friend.

The thing about acid experiences seems to be that for every person who gets a Big Cosmic Visionquest, there's another person (waves hand) who spends eight hours as a very happy lump who's really, really into how the fabric of the couch cushion's all, like, woven and bristly and soft at the same time, man. Like other…

Someone I know did that. He was home visiting his family on a school break, and he had so much LSD to sell, but no one wanted to buy it. His mother was the one who told me about it- "One time he came home for Christmas, and he was acting very strangely. Very strangely. Sometimes I think that he was using drugs." …

I once convinced a guy at a rave that the bass had stopped his heart (it was some HEAVY LOW bass) and that the bass was the only thing keeping his dead heart beating. I flounced off and thought nothing more of it.

Egg Carton Lady's ilk call us ALL. THE. TIME. With a menu from fucking 1997 that they dug out of their junk drawer, and I have to spend fifteen minutes patiently explaining that no, that particular pizza hasn't been made for five years and YES THE PRICES TEND TO GO UP OVER A DECADE AND A HALF.

OMG. My 80 year old dad saw the picture of the centre punch on my Kindle screen and asked me why I'm talking about enemas with strangers in that interweb.