“Finally, one Friday, he said, “Let me borrow it this weekend! I need to move some stuff out of my garage.”

BOWEL MOVEMENT.

It’s like every day the world wants to give me a new thing to fear that I hadn’t even considered.

I’m glad the cat and the boy are okay, but yeah, that was unintentional on the cat’s part. This badass hero cat, however, saved his family member on purpose.

The guy is okay, but the woman is awful from the second she sits down. Nothing is good enough for her, she’s not ready to order when she says she’s ready, she won’t make eye contact—the sort of completely entitled person who thinks servers are lower than dog shit. It takes her a lifetime to make up her mind on…

The “drop ID in the mail” thing is technically true, in that the post office treats the ID as non-mail found in the mailbox and makes an effort to return it to the owner. At the library we regularly get packages of library books that someone dropped in a mailbox, and with only the library stamps as a guide, they’ll…

I thought the same thing! But I did find this.

White people who are really fucking high and have a disposible amount of money but lack the sense that the gods gave oysters.

Mantrum: man throws fit because woman does not instantly seize upon his attention like a barnacle to a slave ship.

Dudes like this unnerve the hell out of me. It’s like a wall of “trying” that gets increasingly mean and frantic. They are like the velociraptors in the first Jurassic Park, just jumping on the electric fence, trying to find a weak spot. And they NEVER admit that they are the creepy, stalker assholes that they are. In…

I think it’s blonde if you’re female, and blond if you’re male. In the UK. My dictionary says it’s blond for both sexes in the US.

Many years ago at the group home for developmentally disabled teens where I worked there was a resident who really, really wanted to go to the best steak house in the city for his 18th birthday. He had behavior and anger issues, but was determined to earn that birthday dinner, and he managed it. So another staff…

I don’t know why, but the condescention of this comment just makes me barf.

Expect a reinvigoration among Republicans trying to abolish birth control pills.

“She didn’t want Lilly to learn about black history,” he said, “She just wanted her to learn about the Confederacy.”

I live in Maine and have actually been to this diner. I think the important thing to know about Marcy’s is that it really is a hole-in-the-wall. There are maybe 5 tables and one counter that might seat a dozen. It is tiny and cramped and hot (because the griddle is 3 feet from the counter), but the food is delicious…

That’s what I was going to say. If there is a large Wels catfish swimming around in Loch Ness, then yeah, going to go ahead and say you still have a monster there because those catfish are kind of terrifying.

Is she fucking the father? That's the only theory I can come up with for why this vile moron seems more concerned about the father getting what he wants instead of what's best for the kids. Judges like her are evil. That sounds hyperbolic but until you've dealt with a judge or a police officer or any person with…

yes but “unprotected sex where all the semen just goes into your vagina” is a great way to get pregnant, how do you get it all OUT of said vagina? (this coming from somone who is on this earth because of diaphragm fail)

I read somewhere that they trained it with proportionally far too many dog pics (almost a quarter of the source images, iirc.) hence its current obsession with dogs. It’ll get better as people train it differently.