Thank you! That took a lot of dedication and hard work. What a thoughtful gift that was. Why do people have to ruin things like that? As far as we know she’s, not hurting anyone. Besides, that gift was not for us.

Honestly, I would love be a Bible like that. It’s a masterpiece. I’m being sincere.

When I was still religious, I’d be mad jealous of this bible. It’s fancy and appeals to my inner kindergarten teacher. Hell, even as a fairly secular Unitarian, I’d still love something similar for a more low-key text.

Poor thing. I have nothing but sympathy for her. What’s wrong with people? She did nothing wrong, offended no one, spent months making a heartfelt gift, and gets death threats? People suck. I hope this didn’t ruin her Christmas or damage her boyfriend’s appreciation of the gift.

You don’t. Or else you go outside the church to answer the questions you inevitably have (especially when the only answers the pastors give are ‘we’re not meant to know everything’ and ‘read the Bible’) and educate yourself on other religions and other points of view, but then that usually leads to accusations of…

The Lisa Frank Bible would be a massive hit.

Debate is punished. You’re a bad Christian if you question anything.

I mean, I feel bad for her, because this bible had blank spots in it for notes, so why is it bad that she highlighted things. This reminds me of the most confusing aspect of my recent Byzantine history class, which was all the heresies. I’m a Jew. Jews generally don’t kick other Jews out of the faith unless you REALLY…

All of this for doing what Christian monks did for centuries?

She said both! She basically repeats her (perfect in every way, oh my God) rant. The first time she says “I did it nice” and the second time she says “I made it nice.”

Wait you guys, is there a chance she said it more than once? I remember her shrieking it over and over so could she possibly have said it BOTH WAYS? Please lord give me this.

You already knew someone who thinks they’re clever was gonna make a comment like this. It’s 75 degrees in LA today. I’m going to enjoy myself.

Except that they were all

I did the same thing this year! I’ve been sick with breast cancer( doing much better now) and the best medicine for chemo and radiation is Bravo.

It’s very easy to win a Real Housewives fight. In response to anything mean you say, just tell them ‘At least I’m owning it and saying it to your face.’ That one sentence automatically absolves you of anything bad you say, as long as you admit you’re saying it and say it to their face.

So many excellent ideas here!

“I’m sorry, what is this about?”

It depends on which white people. White people in urban Boston are going to have a very different culture from white people in rural Texas, of course. I’ll speak for myself - I’m a Midwesterner, I grew up in an area dominated by agricultural activities. I’m the farmer’s daughter and my best friend was the preacher’s…

I read way too many of these (up until “foxhead garlands”) before realizing this was satire.