Makes me happy to see the Super Bowl hitting record high viewership in spite of this very vocal but very minor minority.

Oh god Kinja, what are you doing? (sorry - triple posted this I think?)

The problem is that Sandler movies are just vehicles for his useless friends to get rich. They get paid ridiculous salaries that they have no right to demand, and movies that have zero production value such as Jack and Jill end up with $80 million god damn American dollar budgets, not one penny of which appears in the…

The problem is that Sandler movies are just vehicles for his useless friends to get rich. They get paid ridiculous salaries that they have no right to demand, and movies that have zero production value such as Jack and Jill end up with $80 million god damn American dollar budgets, not one penny of which appears in the…

Might have been true decades ago, but that's total bullshit today. All 10 minutes of waiting will do is delay your useless but immediate tweet of the event by 10 minutes (which is, of course, totally unacceptable).

The jokes are now out there for everybody's eyeballs to consume. What's the point of editing the telecast exactly? They might as well try deleting some offensive tweets, for all the good this will do.

We should definitely not be reminding these guys of any such thing. It's like a turing test for idiocy, and makes it far easier to weed these morons out early.

So much catharsis in this article, I'm all warm and fuzzy inside.

Peristylium sounds like an obscure body part that may or may not be located on a sex organ. I was sad to look it up and find out it's just a (Roman) open courtyard.

Do you also spend every second of your life worrying about everything that will potentially maim or kill or rape you, to the point that you're currently writing this in your cozy atomic shelter, 300 feet below the Earth's surface?

Of Wheel of Fortune. There was an unfortunate mix-up.

You'd be all over your junk if you could reach your genitals with your mouth. Don't even lie.

"thought F-bags sitting in 1st row were generic LA posers."

When you start to feel pain is usually the line. Weak knees run in my family, though I can definitely run more now that I'm down something like 60 pounds from 5 years ago, but you learn where your limits are once you feel them. If you've got no pain, count yourself lucky and keep doing what you do.

Doing anything will destroy your body faster, so if you want to keep it in pristine condition, I recommend hiring a nanny/nurse/adopted child who won't love you anyways, then never leave your bed and just have all of your meals delivered directly to your mouth hole. Then, all that's left to do is sit there and enjoy…

There's always room for Jesus in a Holy Trinity.

No, but you don't wanna get on Oprah's bad side either. 4 more years! 4 more years! Praise be to O.

Is Oprah actually the worst? Noooooooooooooooo

Is Dr. Phil really a monster who would air all of this behind the scenes stuff clearly against this guy's wishes, or is Nick Gordon secretly a Kardashian-level famewhoring genius who scripted all of this and is about to parlay it into a reality show empire? Time will tell.

Soul mates are a fictional construct (surprise! there are no souls!) and while time may not heal all wounds, it will most certainly heal a high school rejection wound, or else you're maybe not cut out for living in this world. I'm pretty sure that truism was meant for more grievous wounds and actual loss.