Kara, I’ll thank you kindly not to report such blatant lies like this:

Only cost him his knee. Hey, Junior Seau got paid good money to have his brains beat out of him.

Kuip’s one of the best announcers. No one ever calls him a homer. Well, except for maybe that one time...

Giants fan here...that sounds more like Mike Krukow (Kuiper’s color man) to me.

While in line, my husband compared his Cap shirt with the kid behind us, and the two of them geeked out together about how cool Cap is. He was maybe 6? 7?

Seriously. Quicksilver’s been a member of the Avengers since...1965? He’s almost a founding member.

I wish Curry told Green “Don’t worry. I got some sweet Casios coming your way. They’ve got calculators, and you can store fifty phone numbers and everything”.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN TO MY 5-YEAR-OLD SON THAT TWO GROWN MEN CAN’T GET DRUNK BECAUSE BUD LIGHT COSTS $10?

This is also a good explanation for how Chipotle evolved its recipes.

Pacquio showed up as a congressman for 4 days last year, and opposed birth control legislation that would have helped women in the Philippines. He’s a moron who gets to be in congress the same way he gets to be on a basketball team. Because his people are bat shit insane for him as a boxer and would sign him up for…

GOP: The definition of marriage should be left to the states.

Sip those really slow and let them sit in your mouth for a bit. They take some getting used to but you may grow to enjoy them. My husband went from ‘ew beer!’ to drinking the stoutest of the stouts, so you never know!

This was my experience and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I didn’t like beer/alcohol in general. I found Blue Moon with an orange slice to be the one beer I liked and the next thing you know, I’m really into hefeweizens and wheat beers, and now I’m on to other ales and lagers. The path to beer discovery is long and…

WAAAAAAHHHHHH, I accidentally drank Blue Moon thinking it would impress people and all my friends laughed at me. I’m gonna sue those fuckers!

His best work was in MTV’s “Remote Control.” Am I right, oldsters?

She’d hedging her bets...like a good prosecutor?

I dunno... seemed relevant...

in an ironic turn of events, the police union is now demanding an “independent prosecutor”

I never thought about IKEA as a major step in a relationship...until I arrived at IKEA and realized the whole place was laid out exactly like the IKEA where my parents (and my partner’s parents) had taken us both shopping children. Both of us were struggling with Oedipal conflicts before we’d even gotten to the…