I can’t wait for Deadspin’s “The 49ers Don’t Have Enough Parking and Are Too Fucking Cheap to Do Anything About It” article in six months.

Big ups to the broadcaster for not showing that woman getting clocked in endless replays.

A friend of mine is at the game and told me that she left on a stretcher but was moving around.

Yeah, that's kind of a major detail to leave out.

It’s optional. It is an optional feature. As a woman on Twitter who frequently tweets about feminism, my option will be not to turn it on, but I don’t understand why it’s a problem if other people choose to use a feature that’s made available.

It’s an opt-in, though. If you don’t want randos DMing you, just don’t enable the feature (I will not be).

Back when I smoked, I got the chance to go to a fancy conference as an intern. The only other person that smoked at this job was the executive director, and I had to walk by her desk to take a smoke break. She would insist on going out to smoke with me and it was 50/50 she would bum a cigarette off me. As a result, I…

Gate agent burn is always epic! I used to be a flight attendant and witnessed a doozy at DFW Airport, late one night during a monster thunderstorm. Our plane had landed but we were stuck on the ramp for about 2 hours, because so many other planes couldn’t depart due to the storm. When we finally got a gate and…

My 16-year-old sister looks a little bit older so she occasionally gets hit on by boys in their early 20s. At one point, this one sorry fellow tried to convince her that “age is just a number,” to which she quickly retorted, “a prison cell is just a room.”

Not especially sick or clever, but I give myself props for not walking away and muttering to myself.

I just remembered a great one! Last month, my friend - who is the chillest, least confrontational, most mild-mannered person in the whole world - was visiting Israel and he ran into some German lady who was like, “Why can’t there just be peace?” My friend was all, “Yeah, totally” (my friend and I are both Jewish but…

Waiting at the airport for a flight. There’s a line of about 10 people at the counter that were delayed from an earlier flight. Some dude pushes past the line and screams at the desk agent that, “(He) has to be on this flight! And it has to be first class!” Agent tells him that she can help him but he need to wait in…

Whereas dildos are absolutely awesome and empowering. Got it.

Clippers logo design courtesy of the Tron Light Cycles video game.

Lonely and Pathetic? Those are strong words coming from an internet commenter. You get some sort of high from shaming the unfuckable? As a matter of interest, what is your opinion on sex toys for women? Are they also for the lonely and pathetic?

“While a fully functioning sex robot is likely light years away...”

THIS is a dessert planet.

The only to be on paper currency - I don’t think I’d call Susan B Anthony allegorical. Isn’t it great that they’ve only put women on $1 currencies that don’t stick around for long?

I’ll bet you $10 there’s one other non-president on your list.