Hey, if someone is sexually assaulting another person, I'm totally cool with pulling the "my XYZ is your boss" to get them to cut it the fuck out. These maybe it'll make these shitgoblins think twice before sexually assaulting another human being.. probably not.. but maybe.

After reading the first story, I had not heard of beurre blanc, so I decided to Google it...

I was serving a grandfather and his teenage grandson. The kid asked for a bowl of chili, at which point I explained that we were out of chili, apologized (why we as servers have to do this, I don't know, but we do) and told him the other soups we had available. The kid said, "But I wanted the chili." Ok, well,…

One of the best things about Jezebel is the fact that those of us in love with Robin Hood no longer have to live in the shadows. You've created such a safe space for us and our creepy cartoon love.

Then the wreckage showed up in the Little Mermaid. Disney has an evil sense of humor, man.

It is like me when I watch "Max & Ruby". I've developed the theory that Ruby killed their parents, Psycho style, and has them stuffed and sitting in chairs. But I read a theory online that Ruby is actually a teen mom and Max is her son, hence why she parents him without adult interference.

I love that Candlejack made an appeara—

that man is now officially my new hero, and to hell with anybody who says otherwise.

Actually, the DCAU voicework for Amanda Waller was provided superbly by CCH Pounder. /credit where credit's due.

She's the god damn bomb. She's (of course) in that Joe Dimaggio documentary, "I Know That Voice," sitting in front of her approximately 1500 Emmys and looking like a BOSS.

Andrea Romano is hands down my favorite casting person. She ALWAYS gets it right picking people to voice the various characters. I secretly wish she did voice casting for everything.

Here is your script, Mr Garcia. I suggest you stick to it.

A theatre professor of mine once worked on a show that cooked real food onstage. It was so integral to the script that they actually had a real kitchen built onto the stage. Part of this was a coffee pot. One night, during intermission a man walked *on to the stage* poured himself a cup, and one for his wife, and…

In the (slightly more) horrible, distopian America where this law passes, I predict an abrupt, unprecedented epidemic of dead fathers. Women will compare their Dead Baby Daddy stories to see which was the most believable or the most over-the-top. The "He died in a car accident" will be a perennial favorite, but a few…

Do not pass go.

VICTIM BLAMING.

This sounds very familiar...poor woman calls to say how they ruin the holidays for her and all that younger one can do is laugh (he's gotta be the right winger).

You have issues and I feel legitimately sorry for you.

The celebrity 2 on 2 basketball tournament continued on through the scorching hot San Jose summer afternoon. The finals had arrived and in one corner stood the most unlikely duo.... Kobe Bryant and Andrew Luck.

He's just an unfrozen caveman, unaware of your societal expectations that he be angry at mild violence.