This would be a good time to examine the effects of genetics on penis length.

Whenever I get characters confused while watching Game of Thrones (often) I tell my boyfriend that it's because all white people look the same.

Tripcest.

I guess white people do all look alike.

This whole "Walter" thing is my new True Detective. Please stay on top of this, Lindy. Is Walter the Yellow King? Just putting that out there.

lol how did i know the black woman was going to be the first one down?

Ladies and gentlemen:

Clinique's men's line is the best and knowing it's Biden approved makes it even better!

Aww, your grumpy pants look itchy.

My dream April Fools joke by Obama is during the last year of his term to act like he is going to paint the White House black. Get some painters out there with tarps and black paint and start painting a corner of the building. Then be like, "April Fools!" when people freak the fuck out.

I have a bottle of Moet in my fridge just waiting for a special occasion and my emergency bud waiting for me. I could have had an amazing night.

How long before you think some eco hipster wanders into the bar and whines, "Is this vegan?"

Not to mention, weed helps people with cancer and AIDS and stuff. Weed has fueled the creation of art and culture. Weed is saving the world!

The missionary of each category.

Hahahahahahaha.

As a cleaning agent?

We sure did manage to get to the boringest final four possible, didn't we?

It took him a couple of tries, though, he kept putting them on upside down.

As a Texas woman I have this to say to any overpaid rich white dude who'd like to tell me what does and doesn't affect me in matters of public policy:

I think we can all safely agree that Perry really fucking hates women. I've never in my life seen someone go out of their way to make women's lives more difficult on such a consistent basis.