You are looking at former WWF wrestler Doink the Clown and someone else dressed like him.  A double Doink, if you will.

My best friend for the last 35 years is as die-hard of an Eagles fan as I am a Bears fan (meaning we are two idiots who will hold onto the 1 Super Bowl we will experience tighter than any actual meaningful moment from our sad lives).

Next up: Philadelphia Eagles.

“Bear Weather” is winter. Bears sleep in the winter. Stop owning yourselves with “Bear Weather” you absolute stereotypes.

Now we get to go 8-8 for about 4 years until everyone gets paid/quits/signs with another team/retires/dies and we go straight back to 4-12/6-10 range which is where we belong.

I sat in a bar, with my pregnant wife, down in Florida watching that game unfold. The nice locals next to us seemed excited for the Bears about to kick the winning field goal. I told them that he was going to miss it. I had no doubts about this and then he hit those fucking poles. Sat there in my Mack jersey, staring…

I know Jay is not on the team anymore but I love this gif too much not to post it here.

Houston is a surprisingly pretty city, with a cool arts center, a robust tech background, extremely fun bars, and a burgeoning food scene with one of the greatest items I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.

As a Lions fan I am forced to similarly point out that the Texans have won one playoff game in seventeen years. The Lions last playoff win came ten years before the Texans were born.

Amazingly, the fact that he’s a murderer isn’t even the worst thing about him.

Ray Lewis is a murderer.  Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I’d never heard of Dundalk before 5 minutes ago, but I now hate it a lot.

Oh yeah, one of my favorite TV characters ever. Right up there with Al Swearengen, Tony Soprano, Saul Goodman, etc.

And most (all?) of John Waters’ films.

Omar was awesome, though. 

“Baltimore has nothing to claim as its own”

No way anyone would believe that stupid name.

Up next: The Washington Sentinels!

Drew, this was hysterical. To go to all the trouble of writing a WYTS for a team that’s not real is simply genius. 

The most damning thing I can think of about the Titans is that, on any Sporcle quiz in which you need to identify NFL teams, the Titans are always the least-guessed.