YES!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. Why in the world would you run a 5k in a pair of jeans?

Yes. Why in the world would you run a 5k in a pair of jeans?

My genes and years of soccer / swimming / running have blessed me with some giant thighs and a butt to match. I have blown through countless pairs of jeans - some pretty cheap and some pretty expensive.

My genes and years of soccer / swimming / running have blessed me with some giant thighs and a butt to match. I have…

The irony of staying at the Gaylord Hotel was probably unfortunately very lost on these people.

Mom, both definitely “mother” when I’m annoyed or angry. Nothing sets my mom off like when I snidely say “yes mother” after she asks me if I can show her how to use Facebook for the zillionth time.

You’ve got to consider, they’re Kansas educated...

Out of all the Pokemon you mentioned in this piece, I’ve only come across a Magikarp. :(

Took me a second, but to be put into clearer terms: These two guys are not the same person, therefore don’t persecute one for the actions of the other.

It’s so cute when people steal from gay culture.

I mean... A couple seasons back Yolanda was frolicking around the house in lingerie for David, practically begging for affection, and he couldn’t even be bothered. No shade here, it was a very sad moment.

Your brother watched his ex wife’s new husband’s kids? Ehh sounds like your brother needs to grow a pair.

Honestly if you had shown me the photos and videos only, I’d have sworn this was a gay cruise.

Gronkowski is like the new Ryan Lochte, minus the TV show - for now.

I am going to loudly tell you who I am voting for.

Just tried to tell Siri to text “eggplant emoji egglant emoji eggplant emoji” and she sent “a plane Emoji Emoji when it Emoji.”

I saw Eyes Wide Shut without knowing a goddamn thing, and let me tell you something: Any movie with a surprise orgy is a good movie.

THEY CALL ME TECH (TECH TECH TECH) NINE (NINE NINE NINE).

Nah. According do all the press here in KC, Marlins Man has no enemies. He’s treated the KC community incredibly well and has been insanely generous.

LOLOLOLOL

Nah, you’re a prick, regardless of whatever team you’re supporting.