Seriously. I live in a close-in suburb of DC. I rarely see Skins or Wiz jerseys, and only see Bryce Harper jerseys during baseball season, but I can’t throw a brick without hitting a kid wearing a Messi or Neymar jersey.

“the next Christian Pulisic is picking up a basketball instead of being inoculated with the dream of representing his country in the planet’s biggest sporting event.”

aj’s morning after takes:

Tonight, Chuck Norris is crying.

Stop stop I can only take so much funny-but-actually-sad realness tonight.

Maybe if it had been ONLY Trinidad.

not to Puerto Rico though.

I try not to agree with cocaine, but here I am again...

You’re absolutely right. Obamacare is a poor compromise, and in no way superior to universal free health care coverage, something which every industrialized civilized nation currently has, along with reasonable gun control laws.

Every time I see boobs it’s one of the more amazing moments of my life. Doesn’t matter if it’s a woman I’ve been dating for months, maybe even living with me. Whatever, man, tits is tits and I want to see them all the time.

 I’ve had huge tips, no tips; I’ve been tipped in cash, beer, pot, bags of bagels, and a giant bag of pistachios. Seen more tits and penises than I care to remember (why do people think the rules of society no longer apply at hotels?), interrupted sex with my knock a dozen times. Delivered to a guy who stopped the…

Oh yeah, the Monticello neighborhood where all the houses cost $500k minimum was almost as bad as the hood as far as tips were concerned. No tip when they’ve got a Mercedes SUV and a BMW out front? Fuck you people. I hope little Tanner breaks his leg at soccer practice.

hey, thats perfectly acceptable, they are kids. Its the wealthy people in nice homes with an Audi in the driveway that give you a dollar on a $50 order or no tip.

I bet Papa John tips people in nickels.

USTMNT did wear red and white striped shirts once...but instead of star-spangled shorts, they went with denim, which I assume was invented here.

Gotta love the people who pretend as though the current amounts of outsized corporate profits and executive bonuses are an ironclad law of capitalism and cannot possibly be changed, so if they’re ever taxed more or forced to give more money or benefits to their employees they’ll have no choice but to pass through the…

Cardinals fan accepts this win.

Cardinals at Eagles: I was watching the Twins-Yankees game the other night and the Twins went up 3-0 right away. So I shit-texted our own Barry Petchesky about it, because he’s a Yankees fan and a terrible person. The only problem was that I did NOT text Barry. By accident, I texted… Mom

Los Pollos Hermanos? That always confused me. At the Latino/Hispanic chicken joints I’ve run into were always grilled and not fried. Like Super Pollo, El Pollo Fino or even that pinche gabacho El Pollo Loco. Fried chicken has been cornered by the Koreans and the Cambodians.

Checkmate.