Melanie's son... together*

+1 rip ur eyebrows

#loveandlight?

I’m waiting for Barb’s routine.

Lately my face washing routine is to watch whatever Trump is currently tweeting about then try to keep whatever alcohol on hand from over splashing my open maw as I try to drown out the stupid.

Whatever hits other than the lips is a face wash in my book.

Hard agree. I like Joan, but this article is a very bad and dumb take.

Hillary Clinton’s sense of humor is amazing and legendary. Of course she brings up her emails, and your positing that the world has moved on from them is simply incorrect. Trump, Fox and co still bring them up all the time. And if you think we’re all going to refrain from “but her emails...” comments for every moment…

The extreme lack of chins on all their faces are a sufficient paternity test. 

Of course you cannot sign away the rights of your child to seek out their biological parent, especially in the era of readily available DNA testing and ancestry companies. But this woman who contacted her donor’s mother is kind of the worst. Like wtf was she expecting? Talk about seriously overstepping boundaries. If…

Can’t speak for everyone but our sperm bank used fake names instead of ID numbers ie, ‘john’ or ‘michael’ instead of ‘146839265’. They told us when our kid is a teenager we should give them the profile code name, so if they ever run into another donor-conceived kid they can figure out relatively quickly if they’re…

This is some serious white people shit.

I used to love the advertising for that beer as a kid. Sadly I never got to try one.

First time saying this: thank god I’m too old to give a shit.

Corona isn’t even the best cheap Mexican beer. Corona is bad, skunk beer, and is only saved by adding lime juice, which is delicious in just about anything.

Baseball and beer in the same sentence made me think of Old Style.  For over 100 years it was the only thing that could put a worse taste in the mouths of Cub fans than the team themselves.

That’s pretty much exactly what my dentist said to me! Except he left out the parts about explaining that it was nerve pain, what caused it, to use fluoride rinse.

Ok, but, they really need to get the actual Blake Bortles on the last season.

Sadly there will only be four seasons, not five. The fourth season is the one premiering in a couple weeks. 

A girl I very briefly dated’s bedroom was FULL of fleas. She was so used to them that she didn’t even seem to notice them, whereas I (staying at her place for the first time) thought I was getting eaten alive.

In a landscaped thicket of tall grasses near Navy Pier in downtown Chicago. The grasses were tall enough to hide us completely, but as we found out they were prickly and sharp. Also everything was full. of. mosquitos. we were feasted on by so many bugs we were lumpy for days afterwards. However, the…