Every time I hear someone from the trump administration speaking I feel two things:

I hate that I even know who this woman is.

...and yet, your creepy uncle with the Confederate flag in his basement will praise Trump for being a straight-shooter who speaks his mind.

Who could have predicted???

It’s almost as if Team Trump was utterly unprepared to govern a nation of 325 million people, or something...

Right, Twitter is totally effective in him communicating clearly except for those zillion times after the fact that his lackeys have to say “what Trump really means is...”

So, bascially a woman doing work for no pay or title who happens to be the daughter and sexual obsession of the president.

I wonder if this is part of a wider strategy on the part of th day Kushners to limit Bannon’s influence? I can’t imagine they like him much and vice-versa.

Include us out.

First Daughter Consort

I’m sure there’s some social program left to scrap for this. Something that does any amount of good for someone not filthy rich?

Is this officially a Rain Man situation yet? Is Ivanka the only thing that can calm him down from one of his manic episodes? This would certainly explain why she is never more than a few feet away from him.

The real plan is for Ivanka to marry Prince Harry shortly after Brexit, engineer a union between the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom, and then something something Trump becomes King of the Holy Anglo Empire.

So can I have security clearance too? Because I’m guessing I’m at least as qualified as she is, probably more so since I waited tables for like 8 years and understand diplomacy a shit ton better than her.

Members of Cult 45 are already champing at the bit to vote for Ivanka as the first female president as an extra-hot burn on Hillary. They talk about it all the time already. Which makes it all the more sickening that Ivanka is blatantly being groomed for a future presidential run.

God.

1. Pence resigns citing “personal reasons.”

Her title is the Thirst Daughter.

Why doesn’t Trump just give her a title already. You know, the way kings gave their Mistresses titles and set them up all fancy.