The only people who root for countrymen over their city’s team are the Bumblefuckians.

we were promised thrown dicks

they both die? ffs spoiler alert

“Own your shit Republican fools. Own your bigotry. Own your hatred. Fucking own it.”

CSA! CSA! CSA!

That’s great for those that do, but otherwise it’s similar to the “working for exposure (free)” crap.

Manny Trillo!

Some people see good mom, some people see self-absorbed Stepford nearly causing beleaguered grandma to drop overpriced food. Fuck Disneyland, while we’re at it.

It has roots in the Black Brute stereotype. RationalWiki has a good synopsis.

Thanks for letting us know you’ve never had a kid, diaper industry shill. Follow the money!

Well my wife trained me TO sleep on my stomach so I don’t snore/die, so this ain’t gonna fly with her.

Heard my therapist on NPR once, which was a trip and an ego boost. Wish I could still afford her.

These are the nuns that make me kinda sad. I like the ones on the bus and the ones that break into nuclear facilities and the ones that taught me English literature in high school a lot better. =(

You know you’re living gated/sheltered/privileged when a balloon or fireworks can bring cops to your neighborhood.

I doubt the cup was on the meal table, but I was mostly being facetious.

What better way to improve upon the cognitive skills necessary for chess than a series of violent blows to the brainbox?

Every time I hear a story about “free” restaurant napkins, I shed a tear for the impending Chipotle Day of Reckoning.

Jimmy John’s too. Fuck them, but for other reasons, mostly.

I’m kinda surprised that by now more people aren’t aware of the no-diaper thing the older Chinese generation subscribed to.

This is actually funnier than all of today’s stories. Separately, not combined, but still.