Even when being consumed by a wall of ravenous man eating flowers, her skin looks flawless.

Female dog, right? Literal bitch slap.

I love how the dog decides 'enough of this nonsense' and just leaves its paw on the faucet so it can drink in peace.

This evening, my dog was curled up sleeping, with her head on my lap. This was, mind you, after a long, exhausting day of her sleeping 10 + hours while we were at work all day. So, we're just sitting there, me reading, her sleeping and being snuggle-petted, when all of a sudden, a giant fucking bug lands on my leg and…

Well, I am a lady writer and I can tell you that there's a very valid reason to only read straight cis men: A writer can only write with a penis. Literally.

Well, that just proves the old adage about assumptions, doesn't it. I very rarely go out without full-on glam makeup. I love it. I collect it. I have a stash of makeup and nail polish that you wouldn't believe. But I'm hardly insecure. In fact, I'm much more secure about myself today at 33, with my fine lines, gray…

I think if I could sum up my feelings about this article in just a few words, it would be that

Word of advice: making a joke does not mean everyone has to laugh. You're not entitled to laughter.

Why does she suddenly look like Rumer Willis??

Yeah, she should really just shut up and not say anything at all! That's how to solve every problem! You tell her!

Butt wipe haters: I challenge you to use these for a week and then bitch about how bad they are. My ass has never felt happier or healthier than since I ditched the paper and began using these. I feel clean and fresh all day, no matter what's been coming out (or how often). And yeah, in some magic, futuristic world…

We may have installed a Toto washlet in our house. To be fair, I split the cost with the roomy I share that bathroom with. So it was our landlord 50%, and each of us 25% on the cost and man was it worth it. Now I get washed and dried by a robotic wand, it almost makes me want to not poop anywhere but home so I can…

You're all fucked in the head. Asswipes are brilliant. Either install a bidet in every home or revamp the sewer system. I don't give a crap (heh), but as God as my witness, I will never settle for dry toilet paper wiping again.

Hey, look, it's THIS article again.

The argument that we don't need these because we survived without them for centuries (actually a lot longer than that) is ridiculously flawed. We also survived without indoor plumbing for most of our existence but you don't see people advocating for going back to shitting in a field do you?

It's not that we are "too good" it's just that toilet paper will never get everything because once you've got most of it it's just smearing your shit around.

No. I have met many guys that do that. They have really oily heads and bad hair hahahaha.

Is this really a comeback? Wasn't her last (fairly successful album) her comeback? I'd say it's safe to say she's "here."

HAHAHA... "it's such a personal album, with all the writing..." does the interviewer expect us to believe that Britney actually wrote any of the tracks? Even if she's given credit, it's doubtful she actually did work. And how much did they have to pay those people to stand in the desert and dress like extras from…

I'm officially old. This is the first Vegas act where I actually went oooooo I will definitely see that aging star that will remind me of my youth!