The fact that he was falsely accused of a crime is just further proof that Whitehead isn’t Cowboys material.

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

ONE OF THESE FAT FLYING FIRE FUCKS IS GONNA DIE TO A DUMB ARROW AND COME BACK AS AN ICE DRAGON THERES NO WAY THIS WONT HAPPEN

♬ How self-pitying can one guy be?

I thought you were going to say “I knew it was going to be terrible and badly directed”

I thought I was hot shit for two frenchbread pizzas followed by two Chipotle burritos, but clearly I don’t even belong in this discussion.

Lots of good lines, but I am shocked no one pointed out these Eagles season ticket holders in the clip.

Oh, you said the last two movies. My bad.

Why doesn’t the NBA mind the player-for-a-day thing when it comes to Derrick Rose?

“I beg to differ.”

the system is working just fine. Jail is for rehabilitation. Civil suits are for punishment.

The Padres say it’s not that bad, but it feels bad.

This is a cultural issue. Where young is from having multiple partners isn’t a big deal.

Not to pick nits, but the 2018 Olympics actually start one year from yesterday due to Korea being on the opposite side of the International Date Line of the U.S.

this is a bad take.

It seems hypocritical to keep referring to it as an egg and not a chicken.

“to help launch our brand into the market...”

Unfortunately, my wife had a similar experience at Home Depot when she asked for black caulk.

Cuban Missedcall Crisis?

Millenniums don’t even have to pay their dues before getting massive payouts and that’s why they are soft. Bill Belichik had to work for THIRTY YEARS in the rock smashing factory before anyone even allowed him into the room where you can look at a football. The only thing these Millenniums are DISRUPTING is hard work.…