R.Kelly has agreed to sing the opening track "I Believe I can Fly" from inside a closet backstage.

Food for Child Soldiers? What a zany concept.

Feed The Beast: A friendly reminder from the ASPCA.

Blast! My true identity has been revealed.

I need to make a MP3 file from the commentary I made about this comment.

- Mikhail Gorbachev

I'm optimistic it will be good, like when D'Angelo came back strong with Black Messiah.

I find all my basic rock instruments down at the gravel pit behind my house.

I liked Mos Def as a rapper. He was a talented wordsmith who spoke his mind. Then his mind got cloudy and he lost touch with what made him a good hip hop artist to begin with. Then he tried acting which further clouded his sound. Now he's stuck in South Africa and no body cares. Maybe if his "last" album is good we…

Corbin Bernsen has agreed to play Lawyer #1.

*blankly stares into empty cereal cupboard*

This week on The Cereal Cereal.

Have you seen all the Beautiful People in Salem?

Bayywatch.

*self-downvoted*

I once told him a self upvote counted as 2. He's been doing it ever since.

"Beardhood"

♫ He's my little deuce Scoot
You don't know what I got ♫

Step Brothers 2: Watchers On The Wall

I, for one, welcome our new Conquistador overlords.