You want an ape? I can get you an ape, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you an ape by 3 o'clock this afternoon… with nail polish.

*Pushes Milkproof Robot's wheelchair to closest window in robot retirement village*

Did you catch his SNL performance last weekend? Apparently he bombed the delivery at the end of the Astronaut Jones skit. The east coast got the bad version but when it re-aired throughout the rest of the country they aired the dress rehearsal version with smooth delivery. Not quite as good as the classic T.M. skits…

Shaking often leads to whacking.

Don't I know it…….

Very few articles posted here count as news.

T-shirts here! Get your T-Shirt!

I'm still waiting for Joe Dante's Inferno

Hansen to slather himself in mud so not to alert the Predator of his whereabouts.

No, it was the one where that American blowhard demanded Manuel be deported back to his "filthy country of origin."

Details, details.

Forget this. When's the 4-episode Golden Girls revival?

I'm surprised Trump didn't demand to be the musical guest as well. Turns out, he isn't as powerful as Miley Cyrus.

He had cancer.

That's true, but it prevents becoming an Angry Comedian.

The Liberals want to legalize weed?

Comedy is about timing son…………………………..

Shut. Up.

"Everyone's fired and we're out of business."

….odn't oyu thnik?