Out of respect for the established hierarchy I will not ask how anyone's weekend was nor if there was anything exciting involved in those unmentioned weekends.

There is huge incentive for the Blue Jays to finish strongly enough to pass the Kansas City Royals to become the No. 1 seed in the American League through the playoffs. On July 28 when the Blue Jays were sitting a game under .500 at 50-51, such a possibility would have seemed absurd since the Royals were riding high…

What's wrong with this country? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?

Can bad plans suck cock? If so, please send all bad plans to me as soon as possible.

ohhhhhh, I gotta big problem!

Hippo Campus aka Ohio State University.

I need that chicken! I gotta have that chicken! You leave those roasters alone. Kenny never hurt anybody.

Of course! Virtual Reality is what these debates have been missing.

You brought a fucking Gorilla bowling?

What the fuck are you talking about? The monkey is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Also, Dude, monkey is not the preferred nomenclature. Ape, please.

Unless you're offered a bowl of balls. Then it's expected.

Him?

“I think if you were Satan and you were settin' around tryin' to think up somethin' that would just bring the human race to its knees what you would probably come up with is narcotics Will Smith.”

Poor baby.

Men In Black Men may also be in the works with or without Will Smith.

I'm looking forward to this, if for no other reason than to see Trevor Noah's impeccably well tailored suits each night. It's hard to find a good tailor these days. My guy, Alphonse, he's the best man in Yonkers but he's getting up there.

Now that he has retired his Dawn Droper character it looks like John Hyam will remain busy.

You call yourself a magician you son of a bitch?

"And for my next trick, I will saw this magical child in two!"

Although Robet Englund is disappointed there won't be a remake of Nightmare On Elm Street 3 he is excited about the new Knifey Fingers movie he will be starring in.