Rough week and I need some Jez sympathy. My hubs’ dad died unexpectedly last Saturday and tomorrow’s the funeral. Hubs has gone from taciturn to non-verbal. It’s tough that this is something I can’t fix for him. Adulting is hard everyone.

My wife and I recently lost our twin boys, Anton and Colin, at 20 weeks gestation. They were handsome, they were healthy, but my wife had an unforeseen and undiagnosed incompetent cervix despite being on bedrest for most of the 20 weeks, and we were advised that we need to deliver or we would lose three lives instead…

Related: my youngest wanted an insulated water bottle with her initials on it for back to school but couldn’t think of the word insulated. Instead she said “I think it’s called a thermos?” I go, “so, a monogrammed thermos?” and laughed so hard that she got mad that we had to leave Target. (All true.)

I’d like to see more school cafeterias eliminate crunchy from the menus, because some people are allergic.

I wonder how the monogrammed thermos business does around this time.

Some things are simply not discussed in polite company.

You’d think by now that people would realize, the way you and I obviously do, it’s illegal immigration only when the brown people from that country down there down south do it. Why is this so difficult to understand?

Guys. Guys! Guyssssss. It’s not like she was (whispers) a caramel latte if you know what I mean....she um.....I mean everyone should follow the law, but it’s not like she (whispers) was a chocolate chip brownie if you know what I mean. People make mistakes! All that paperwork! But it not like she was (in a loud…

MOM’S BACK

I find gladiatorial combat to be an intriguing and unorthodox proposal for the homeless problem in San Francisco. I am open to hearing more...

Part of the problem no one talks about are many of those who are homeless choose to be homeless. My wife works at a VA and many of the regular homeless actually have their own apartments or places to live. They are just mentally ill, or simply like life on the street.

I’d almost forgotten about that.

If the FDA would like to recommend a better way to eat my feelings I’d love to hear it.

Heeeey, I used to work a few blocks from that one! I still walk by it once in a while, and I always feel this weird urge to go in and ask a whole lot of very pointed questions, much like you might have the urge to jump off a bridge or run your car into a tree.

Yeah my god man is that what we looked like in the early 2000s? I’m not gonna lie I was all in it for the trashy boho and costume jewelry look but I sincerely hope I didn’t look like I rolled around in the Claire’s and Wet Seal bargain bin every day.

Kim remembers numerous interactions at readings where someone—“often white, often male, inevitably hostile”—would challenge her work, claiming North Korea wasn’t that bad...

I found it! The wrongest post on the internet today.

Needs more Missy and less Fall Out Boy

I would have accepted the original theme played on floppy disc drives: