If Ariel isn’t played by a real mermaid that I’m not here for it.

So she and her outfits are adorable, but what’s with this trend of tying flannels around the waist?

What you doing in here, Kris? Don’t you have some momaging to do?

Che hated gays, but not in my headcannon.

I know it’s popular to hate on them, but I’m happy for them. They seem like they really love their daughter and they do a lot of the dirty stuff themselves that they could have handed off to a nanny. They’ve publicly said how they want more kids, so good for them.

Here comes lil Beyoncé West!

AND her lipstick game is more on point than mine.

Checked comments for this exact reference. Left satisfied.

There’s always a star for a Seinfeld reference.

Trust me, that’s totally true. I’m 64 and definitely out of fucks to give.*

Shoulda picked a better getaway vehicle.

Well, dude apparently carries an ice pick.

Forget about a weapon, you can make your own freakin’ plane

United Airlines? More like divided airlines.

Grumble. Getting my dad an iPhone is like pulling teeth soaked in cement. “No dad, you need to always take your phone with you. It’s like your old phone that way.” “No dad, your bluetooth doesn’t work so you’ll need a new one.”

Hard to believe it, but this was Marlon Brando.

I really hope this doesn’t get buried, especially since I’m (forever, apparently) gray, but...

Happy SNS, Jezzies! I just found out this week I landed a full-time job in NYC and I’m really excited to move there in a couple weeks.

Speaking of pigs (I’m the worst, I’m AWARE), Mr. Munch wasn’t feeling too hot this week (wheek?) and I was very worried we were going to lose him. But we got him emergency food and antibiotics and he’s a healthy pig again! YAY! So here’s a picture of us cuddling after I fed him his green mush and he’s just had about…