Still waiting for the "woah, this has way too much sodium in it so I'm putting it back" move.

is this walt whitman?

Goddammit, '90s kids. Join me in an "I'm old" gif party in honor of Grandpa Snoop.

You can never go wrong with Gus.

You can have my SLS when you pry it from my cold, Amurrican hands.

To everyone out there: shower as much as you goddamn see fit, no one has to live in your skin except you and those scarab beetles from those Mummy movies

I find it baffling that some folks treat stories of male genital mutilation with a humorous touch. I imagine they would not be quite so lighthearted had a dude taken a knife to his wife's vagina.

en-gay-ged?

gunna pretend you and your bff are actually cartoons and actually work at the actual acme anvils and it's real and this is what is happening.

as someone who is an airhead for FREE i am super offended she is getting paid

My dad tried to kill one of his teachers when he was a kid. If I remember the story right, he and his friend baked her a cake with household cleaning products in it. She didn't eat it because she wasn't an idiot. When he told this story to my sisters and me we were horrified, but whenever he told it around people who…

These are ELEMENTARY students. I read in another story that the teacher had outlined to everyone at the start of the year that sanitizer products were forbidden in the classroom because of her allergy. That means the parents knew, since they give you that lovely list in August of all the things you should bring on the…

Looks like they've made a clean getaway.

More proof that it's not your cat plotting your demise...it's your kids.

Dateline tells me to wipe down the hotel remote with bleach before using it because of all the fecal matter, but Lena Dunham tells me to motorboat that ass. Mixed messages, yo.

Caftans are the shit and the truth is, if you wear a good one with confidence, NO ONE will call you out because it's impossible to argue with a good caftan.

I want to bring caftans back so bad.

A merry Saturday night to you all. It's stop and go packing, what with the foot hurting, but here's my progress so far. Small totes are paperbacks, Medium totes are trade paperbacks, and the biggin's are the hardcover books. Looking at what's left on the shelves, this is about 60-70% of the total, with mostly…