When I was young (2nd/3rd grade-ish), I thought I had two best friends and we even got the 3-piece best friends necklace and the three of us did everything together. After years of this, they told me they they actually hated hanging out with me and had a 2-piece best friend necklace together that they always wore and…

My life has been changed.

omg I just realized the scales are doing the side eye of justice

I see this. Ugh.

That movie was on some shitty channel (Slice, maybe?) and I actually sat and watched the whole damn thing because I apparently do not value my time.

I love his work in the Gold Bond commercials. It's so over the top give no fucks.

I pay a homecare worker to check on my elderly parents twice a week (I don't live anywhere near them). Sure, she does their laundry, makes them a pot of soup, and cleans the floors, but basically, she's there so that I know my parents won't die and be left alone.

Bro. Broooo. Let me explain some things to you about why you're in your 40s and still single and not by choice. No. There is too much. Let me sum up.

What is the purpose of the slave shack, referred to here as a cute cottage, exactly? He lives there? His captive lives there but mustn't sleep there? Are the walls of this cottage covered in newspaper articles about missing women from the area?

t h i s

:( my name is Violet and I am 26. I was named after my great grandmother so all these poser babies need to back off :(

Tell them you twisted your wrist during an illicit tryst, and that it resulted in a cyst. Just run with it.

I have a cyst in my wrist, and I hate telling people why I'm wearing a wrist brace sometimes because the rhyming makes it sound like something Dr. Seuss would have come up with.

Well, it's only Amish sharks that never get cancer.

Bring back NED Stark. The hottest of them all (and by far the best actor).

I'm sorry, I've totally been where you are at. My ex dumped me, and part of it was she was moving abroad and I don't think could picture spending the remaining time before with only me. Also I don't think she wanted to see me move on first, but she also refused to go long distance. She still contacts me, I always…

I hope this helps. This always cheers me up. Honestly I've been hit by that kind of heartbreak before. It sucks. For me, it took time and patience, and being OK with being by myself.

I'm sure you are a lovely creature and inspire much sinful lusting, but his excuse sounds like a lie. It's a relatively good and flattering lie, though. Wish someone had used that on me.

why did you start something new a week before you left?