THEY HAVE THUMBS SO THEY CAN

I’m gonna give you a hard NO on this one. My first thought upon seeing this gorilla was “that dude looks just like the gorilla dad from Tarzan.” Kercheck? I think that was his name? He was such an asshole to Tarzan*.

I’ve never done hard drugs but even I would snort coke off Jennifer Lopez’s ass if offered the opportunity. Show me anyone who says they’d do differently and I’ll show you a LIAR.

Can we replace the Yoko tweets with BRA tweets? How has that not happened already?

At first I thought that was Lindsay Lohan, not Caitlyn Jenner...sad for Lindsay, really, that she’s not even 30 and can be mistaken for a woman in her 60s...stay away from drugs, kids.

No, that was them, although everyone did seem to forget that when they got married last year (or whenever it was....idk probably last year)

I have titanium in my jaw and ALWAYS get pulled aside as my face lights up on the body scanner. You get to make the standard Mean Girls “that’s why her hair is so big it’s...full of secrets” joke so eh, I just roll with it.

10/10 would listen

This is like...easily the dumbest thing I’ve heard/seen all week. And that includes the photo of Shia LaBeausdfsdffooff with a rat-tail.

This is like...easily the dumbest thing I’ve heard/seen all week. And that includes the photo of Shia LaBeausdfsdffooff with a rat-tail.

As a former cashier of 6+ years, it pisses me off when cashiers don’t say hello back. Like, I’ve been where you are. It is not hard to say hi.

Always vote for Jennifer Coolidge.

HOW CAN YOU HAVE BEN Z. THERE AND NOT BE TRYING TO HUMP BEN Z.? He doesn’t even use his dead mom story to get ahead like most contestants would. So much <3 for Ben Z.

The sad thing is, even though Yoga Tony was full of so much bullshit and weirdness, I think he actually bought it. To him, he was living his best self™, and who can hate on that?

PREACH. I never appreciated my period until I was sexually active. I mean, I don’t enjoy it, but I do enjoy knowing that I’m baby-free.

Mhmm. I’ll bet it would...

Kendall IS pregnant with Scott’s baby. Or will be next week. Kylie is currently pregnant with Scott’s baby, as is Kim. That lady who teaches down the hall from me who’s pregnant is also pregnant with Scott’s baby. We are all Scott’s babies.

So she and her outfits are adorable, but what’s with this trend of tying flannels around the waist? I don’t see the point? Do you put the flannel on at some point? Is your waist cold? What?

Meh, that’s how I was with my seats in classes in college. I always liked a seat in the row closest to the door, near the back. If anyone was ever in my seat I’d choose one close, but in my head I would be screaming I’VE BEEN SITTING THERE FOR THIRTEEN FUCKING WEEKS WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ROT IN THE DEEPEST…

I’m going to watch Oliver and Company! The Disney movie. Loved it as a kid.